Sentimentality; Looking (Fearfully) Ahead

I can’t believe it’s already summer again. I’m definitely not complaining, but it feels like just a month or two ago I walked into Air Academy for my third year. Orientation was crazy as expected, but after having a quick look around locating my new classrooms, I could let out a breath of relief, “I’m ready,” I told myself.

I procrastinated my way though anything academic, made some new friends, became distant with some and became reacquainted with others. As of the last month, things are really looking up, and I’m sure it’ll only get better from here.

Everything’s been peachy until I stumbled by this little gem (courtesy of @jordanekay), “The Opposite of Loneliness” by Marina Keegan, in which she reflects on the culture of Yale.

It starts with; “it’s just this feeling that there are people, an abundance of people, who are in this together.” It’s comforting.

When it’s four a.m. and no one goes to bed.

I remember that night, playing Just Dance 3.

That night we can’t remember.

I’m still waiting for one of those.

These tiny groups that make us feel loved and safe and part of something even on our loneliest nights when we stumble home to our computers — partner-less, tired, awake.

We won’t have those next year.

This scares me. More than finding the right job or city or spouse – I’m scared of losing this web we’re in. This elusive, indefinable, opposite of loneliness. This feeling I feel right now.

It’s like a blanket. There’s always someone that’s usually happy to talk to you. There’s that person you’re totally comfortable talking to about anything. The guy who makes everyone laugh. The girl that keeps you grounded. The one that comes to you for support. The one you vent to. All those elements and more make up this safety net that saves me from ever feeling totally alone, and that’s the best feeling in the world.

I wish more people had Ms. Keegan’s sentimentality about these kind of things. All too often people don’t realize how much a simple friendship means to one another. I wish I could’ve known her; Ms. Keegan died in a car accident on Saturday, May 27th, at the age of 22. I leave you with this, and with hopes that senior year brings more friendships that will stand the test of time, through college and long after:

We don’t have a word for the opposite of loneliness, but if we did, I’d say that’s how I feel at Yale. How I feel right now. Here. With all of you. In love, impressed, humbled, scared. And we don’t have to lose that.


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